It’s safe to say that when it comes to sex, we all don’t necessarily want the same thing, at the same time even. Especially when it comes to choosing a partner to be intimate with. Some of us have very high standards, while some of us quite frankly don’t give a fuck who we’re with as long as the sex is good. Which is why when it comes to setting a universal standard for the ideal partner or determining what makes a partner bad in the sack, no one can decide. What some may consider to be traits of an ideal partner, others may avoid such traits in their personal pursuits. So, here are some almost universal signs that your partner or potential might be bad in bed.
They Are Not Receptive To Suggestion Or Criticism
- Communication is key in all aspects of life. Being able to have an open line of communication with your partner should you ever need it is crucial. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to tell your partner when something isn’t working for you or is making you uncomfortable in the bedroom, it can make sex appear lackluster and you may find yourself no longer looking forward to sex with that person. I also find that people who don’t like to take suggestions in the bedroom are usually over confident and think there moves work for all of their partners. Sex is not a one size fits all thing and shouldn’t be treated as such. If your partner isn’t open to hearing you out, get a new partner.
They Lack Empathy
- I always say that if you’re ever in a situation where an argument is taking place or maybe you’re having a debate with someone and you notice that they lack prospective, to stop arguing with them. People who only possess the ability to see things through their own eyes and not put the shoe on the other foot, usually speak to respond and not to comprehend. This means if you’re having a problem, they are less likely to emphasize with you, usually only seeing how they are right and that other individual is wrong.
They Gaslight You To Get What They Want
- Gaslighting is a psychological technique used to manipulate someone into becoming more complicit by planting seeds of doubt into one’s mind or having someone question their own memory, perception, or sanity. This is very similar to a subliminal, instead of just throwing shade however, the person may say something to bring point out an insecurity in order to get their way. A huge example of this is saying something like “All my other partners orgasmed when I did this so I don’t know why it’s not working for you.” This could cause the person its being said it to feel as though something is wrong with their body because they were not as receptive to their partner during sex.
They Have A Disregard For Your Consent
- This could be a simple chat in person before the act or a chat here and there in passing, usually telling the other person what they wish to do with them. Talking about what there into and not into and you the same. When someone has a disreguard for your consent, they do not care about your enjoyment in the act, and usually other areas not pertaining to sex as well. These individuals either assume it’s okay to push your boundaries or violate them all together. Get away from them.
They Don’t like to Talk About STD Status or Safer Sex Methods
- I personally believe that safe sex is the best sex. Which is why I believe that it is very important to disclose your status your partner or vice versa it seems like a hassel but it builds trust. I learned a while back that just because someone doesn’t want to talk about their status or give you a copy of their last results doesn’t mean that they have an STD. So don’t assume that because they don’t want to give you a report or talk about that they must have something. And this is not to shame or stigmatize those who may have an STD. With that being said, if knowing someone’s status before sleeping with them is important to you, don’t just do the do because you think you’ll be missing out on something. This is not an unreasonable request. Don’t settle.
I know these were pretty generalized with no specificity to them, but that was intentional. It’s important that when putting together your personal checklist for the ideal partner in the bedroom, that you set realistic standards that you can follow as well. To find good advice on relationships you might want to check out Romantic Depot Sex Shops in New York. They have the largest selection of sex toys in New York and have convenient locations in NYC and the NY area, they have always provided thousands of their customer’s exceptional customer service. They are also opening a new sex shop in Queens next month and a superstore in Brooklyn in 2019.
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